the other mother - free writing workshop for moms

Make Your Own Summer Camp

I know it's been a long time since I've posted, but you're still visiting, writing, and emailing. Thank you! When I'm between novels, I always return to writing practice--I hope you'll come back and try every topic I've recommended.

Meanwhile, the peonies have dropped their heavy petals and the wax begonias are sunbathing. My son just came home with a fat file full of finished work--and we're labeling, signing forms, planning for a summer of daycamps and new pursuits.

I try to think of summer not just as a time to shuttle from drop off to pickup to the much-politicized local natural pool, but also a time to try new things. Sometimes it's best to sit outside and write, even if my pen gets sap-stuck and I can't bring my laptop for glare. I'm remembering my own summers: Bread and Puppet Circus, working at a dairy farm, a stable, science camp and deep, creative boredom on summer trips to Vermont.

It's your turn to stop and taste the green shoots of the timothy grass. Here's your topic:

Write about your summer when you were ten.

Or another:

Write about the summer you wished you had.

Then give yourself the freedom to change your routine--the kids are at daycamp, so put your feet in the kiddie pool and write about something new. Or try something new: try watercolor painting, read nonfiction if you love novels, read a poem outloud to your child, your spouse, your grandmother over the phone. Make a list of things you don't get to all school year, and give yourself an hour each morning--maybe for a week, maybe all summer if you can. Major in the flexible mind.

Contest! Brought to you by the letter P

bird of paradise (Strelitzia)

School's almost out, the cocoons have hatched into moths and butterflies, the air conditioners hum and the grass sings with insects that will live very short, lovely lives.

Time for a little contest.

It's little because you only have to write two paragraphs. I'll give you a topic, and you can write for as long as you want (or 23 minutes, if you need a limit), but then take your work off into the outside world and hone two paragraphs for me, make them your best.

The winner gets:

• a) the honor of being the first ever Moms Who Write Summer Contest winner
• b) a fabulous car magnet featuring The Other Mother book jacket, so you'll always know which minivan is yours in the parking lot and
• c) an adorable little box of chocolates.

It isn't huge, but it's good. 4 runners-up get car magnets and can call themselves runners-up in any desired social event.

Take your new status to the Hamptons! Or the Shore! Or the Cape! Or the backyard sprinkler! Fire hydrant! If there's enough interest, I'll send out five fridge magnets as well, but mostly I'm hoping to get your best paragraphs. Don't be shy. Write, hone, post. The closing date is TBA.

Enough details. Now more details:

Yesterday my daughter and I were talking about the plum tree, about how for one week we get an explosion of fragrant flowers, then the next week a plethora of pink petal precipitation, and then, which is now, some perfect purple plums. Sure, they're ornamental, but we've used them as a sort of snack since we had a Persian babysitter who ate them by the bushel, and told us, "If I don't come to work tomorrow, they weren't good to eat." She came back. If you're out there now, Nooshin, we're thinking of you!

So summer means perfect purple plums around here. When I lived in San Diego it meant Santa Anas blustering the night-blooming jasmine and the hot dry wind making your throat ache for the east. June Gloom. In San Francisco the single bird of paradise plant bloomed in the tiny little space between our earthquake shack and the apartment building next door. One square foot of dirt enclosed by walls and a bird of paradise perched there.

This week's writing topic: What is June for you? Write your June, perfect plums or terrible rains. Then post your two paragraphs. Have at it. If you have been lurking, this is the time to post!

teach your children well...

free to be you and me:
marlo thomas and friends

What with mother's day, and library visits and book groups (thank you, wonderful folks, who have hosted me in your homes - I've learned so much!), I've been thinking a lot about how although my parents (look of shock) weren't perfect, somehow they managed to teach me that I could do/be whatever I wanted to do/be.

My neighbor, a few years back, rolled down her minivan window as I walked the dog and baby in stroller (years back!) and said, tearfully:

"You tell them they can do anything they want, but I never expected my little girl would want to go to West Point!"

They adjusted, and so, I hope, will I, to whatever passions my children choose (or whatever passions choose them), as long as they don't hurt anyone else.

But meanwhile, I'm doing my best to teach them -- it's okay for boys to think American Girl Dolls are cool; it's okay for girls to love sports -- cliches, for sure, but true.

Remember Free to be you and me? William wants a doll?

This week's writing topic: Make a list: what I want to teach my children. Choose one and write about it for 22 minutes. Go.

Lost, Found, Mother's Day

Oh yes indeedy, Mother's Day is coming up. Of course, I highly recommend The Other Mother as a gift. And, if you email me at [email protected] I will send you a handy signed bookplate "to Elizabeth's Mom," etc.

If your mom likes a good read and already has TOM, check out the lovely Allison Winn Scotch's freshly out in paperback The Department of Lost and Found. It's touching and warm and wonderful, and Allison herself seems to be, too. She has a very writer-friendly blog, Ask Allison, with all kinds of insider advice on writing, especially for magazines, but fiction as well. She's a writer's writer, as they say. Pick up her book today, if not for Mom, for yourself!

If Mom's nuts about knitting (how did this happen? I'm nuts about knitting. Next comes knit-lit, as my husband says, or, if you're joking about skeins, knit-wit. Oh dear.) and your budget's a bit bigger, how about stopping by here?

Or if you're in northern NJ, I just went to the most amazing yarn store on my way back from a book group: The Stitchery. OMG, the colors! The kind and helpful staff!

That's this week's writing topic after all: A letter to Mom, trying your very best to write specific details--and not the usual ones, either--the you-changed-my-diaper ones. The conversation about worms, the letting me pick out anything in the toystore (I chose Misty of Chincoteague the plastic horse model) after the pet catfish died, if you can remember them. Spend 18 minutes. I can't wait to read them!

This week's writing topic: A letter to Mom, trying your very best to write specific details--and not the usual ones, either--the you-changed-my-diaper ones. The conversation about worms, the letting me pick out anything in the toystore (I chose Misty of Chincoteague the plastic horse model) after the pet catfish died, if you can remember them. Spend 18 minutes. I can't wait to read them!

I owe some comments,

but fresh from a mom writers panel event at the White Plains Library with Jane Green, Pamela Dorman, and Role Mommy Beth Feldman (if you were there, thank you for coming, and for the fabulous questions!) I wanted to offer up a fresh topic.

I've been thinking about wishes, about how they change over time, about how close they can be to prayer, how selfish, how light.

So here's your writing topic. Take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. Using your dominant hand (say, right if you're a righty) make a list of wishes on the corresponding (in this case right) side.

Then put the pen in your nondominant hand and write on the other side. Make a list of secret wishes. This could be in code if it's easier to admit to them that way (of course, they can all belong to a character anyway!).

Now choose one wish from each column and start to write. Don't forget the sounds, textures, taste of it all. Write for nine minutes.

I hope your wishes smell like just peeled oranges.

3 Tips for ankle surgery recovery

Hello, hello! I feel like I've been away forever. On the plus side, I have a new talar dome (well, slightly used, but still) and I can now lurch around in a delightful and only sometimes painful manner. Actually, that's pretty much the whole minus of it, too.

Thank you all for the well-wishes -- and hope your holidays were full of festivity, joy, and kindness. Oh, and writing. But if you haven't written yet, I'll give you a topic at the end of this post.

Some great news about The Other Mother: A Novel. New Jersey Star-Ledger columnist Maureen Berzok has listed The Other Mother as one of the Best Jersey Books of 2007, sharing the honors with:

• The Last Three Miles: Politics, Murder, and the Construction of America's First Superhighway by Steven Hart,
• The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz,
• and Exit Ghost by Philip Roth.

Wahoo!!! Thank you Ms. Berzok, for placing me in such esteemed company.

The Other Mother is also one of Role Mommy's favorite books of 2007. If you're near White Plains, NY on January 23rd, you can come to the White Plains Public Library to meet me, as well as Pamela Dorman and Jane Green, at the Role Mommy Books and Authors We Love event. I can't wait! I might even been lurching a bit more smoothly by then!

So, here are the three tips for ankle surgery recovery as promised:

1. Become completely obsessed with knitting.

I'll try to post some pictures. I've made 3 hats, 6 scarves, two cable couture bags. Let's just say knitting keeps me thinking about things other than pain, and it feels productive, even if, as my husband pointed out, my kids look like people whose mother has a little too much yarn on her hands.

Check out Loopsknitting. Shelley has a gorgeous store, gorgeous site, and Loops Scoop, with free patterns and ideas; I won a kit for the cable couture bag, which is what got me back on the knitwagon...), a sweater, several purses to felt (once I can get down to the laundry again), a wrap, two stuffed animals...I'm done bragging.

2. Ask your surgeon to lend (or rent?) you a Roll-A-Bout.

You put your knee on this sort of modified skateboard with brakes and wheel around when you need one free arm (not so easy with crutches).

3. Get dressed every day.

Even if wonderful friends and relations have taken over the driving/cooking/and other items on the endless parenting list. It just feels better, even if it takes a few hours to get pants over your cast.

So, here's the writing topic.

Make a list of three tips:

• three tips for surviving divorce
• three tips for shovelling your driveway (don't use a leafblower on snow, for example)
• three tips for avoiding writing
• three tips for feeding a picky eater.

After you have your list, take it from there. You know how it goes: don't think, just keep the pen moving. You can do this: write for 7 minutes. That's all. It takes longer for me to get a sock on my left foot.

Come write, one and all! It can be a New Year's Revolution: write every day. Welcome back!

What Not to Do

The light is weak and the lawns are littered with the last of the oak leaves, but fall's still my favorite season.

Promotion for The Other Mother continues long after I thought we'd be done, but I have to say, I've met some amazing bloggers, journalists, and most of all: parents.

Here's your writing topic for this week.

In three minutes, list as many responsibilities as you can (yours, your character's, your mom's).

Then take your list, and you can make a list poem. Write about what happens when your character abdicates all responsibilities like a wanton queen.

Choose one item and write about how it feels to hold that in your body, how it shapes your (your character's) days. Write this one for 14 minutes.

GG

New topic (via Moms Blogs book group)

If you read the most recent post (before this one, that is), you know that there's a moms blog book group discussion of The Other Mother at the Silicon Valley Moms Blog.

They're discussing The Other Mother and the issues it raises for moms. If you want to joint the discussion, click through where it asks you to join in.

There are plenty of gems in the mine, so this week I'm asking you to dig for your own topic.

You could write about a dad who's staying at home. You could write about mommy guilt. You could write about a mom quitting her job to stay home. You could write about cultural differences in parenting, but don't get too academic.

Just pick something you read about, even a phrase from someone's post, or, hey, the title The Other Mother's something to work with. I'm suggesting this because I feel like digging for your own topics gives you new freedom as a writer.

Have at it! 14 minutes or 22 minutes, you choose. And I'd love to hear what you think of the book group, as well.

Sometimes I write mine out a month in advance in my dayplanner, brainstorming all at once about a novel I'm living, or just trying to find what's important, what's next.

Can't wait to read! And hope you all enjoy your little Halloweenies, the ones in your house, or the ones that come to your door...

Blogorama! Moms Blogs discuss The Other Mother: A Novel

I'll post a related topic tomorrow or Tuesday, but wanted to let you all know about this exciting blog-fest discussing The Other Mother. Stop by, join in!

On Monday, October 29, Moms Blogs from Silicon Valley, New York City, Chicago, and Washington DC begin their first-ever collective book club meeting to discuss The Other Mother, the new suspenseful motherhood novel by Gwendolen Gross.

(PRWEB) October 29, 2007 -- In an event described as "following in the footsteps of our beloved Oprah," contributors from the Silicon Valley Moms Blog, New York City Moms Blog, Chicago Moms Blog, and the Washington DC Metro Moms Blog are reading the new suspenseful motherhood novel The Other Mother by Gwendolen Gross. Starting on Monday, October 29, they begin their first-ever online collective book club meeting to discuss this novel, which has been described by Booklist as "an electrifyingly complex and explosively gripping portrait of contemporary, have-it-all motherhood."

Gross' novel encourages an active dialogue between moms, because it inspires mothers to explore their own choices about balancing work and family, the struggles and joys of parenting, and the constant push and pull of contemporary motherhood. Publisher's Weekly says that The Other Mother "documents the front lines of the Mommy Wars, but its real strength lies is exposing the complex inner battlefields motherhood can open up." National Public Radio calls The Other Mother "a thoughtful, multi-faceted look at what divides and unites mothers."

These four Moms Blogs are inviting all blog readers to "read along if you like and join us for a lively book club discussion." The Moms Blogs are the brainchild of Jill Asher and Pamela Miller Hornik, and they have received national media attention for their coverage of parenting issues in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, San Jose Mercury News, Los Angeles Times, Chicago Sun Times and on ABC News.

The Other Mother has been featured in the New York Daily News, the Toronto Star, Redbook, OK! Magazine, and on National Public Radio, and it is the selection of four national book clubs. The Mom Gadget Blog says that The Other Mother "captures the truest most vulnerable times any mother has experienced, as one mother struggles with the fact that all her kids will soon be attending school -- while the other struggles with returning to work with a newborn at home ... The characters are so believable and are sure to leave a lasting impression, long after the final page has been turned." The Other Mother by Gwendolen Gross is available at Amazon and in bookstores.

Gwendolen Gross is the author of the novels Field Guide, Getting Out, and most recently, The Other Mother. She graduated from Oberlin College, received an MFA in fiction and poetry from Sarah Lawrence College, and was selected for the PEN West Emerging Writers Fellowship. In addition to her novels, Ms. Gross has published poems and stories in dozens of literary magazines, as well as essays in collections including It's A Boy: Women Writers on Raising Sons and It's A Girl: Women Writers on Raising Daughters.

Ms. Gross is also an award-winning writing instructor and has led workshops at Sarah Lawrence College and the UCLA Extension online. Her guest lectures include appearances at the Fashion Institute of Technology, at Barnes and Noble's Educator's Night, and The World's Largest Writing Workshop. Ms. Gross has worked as a snake and kinkajou demonstrator, naturalist, opera singer, editor, and mom. She lives in northern New Jersey with her family.

Lost

Hello all! I will get to comments later, but I don't want to delay the new writing practice topic, which came out of this week's in-person Just Write workshop:

Here's your writing practice topic for this week!

Read the writing practice guidelines. Stretch your fingers. Start with this sentence (fill in the blank):

Yesterday, she lost her __________ (mind, toothbrush, virginity, camera, best friend...)

Write for 8 minutes.

Thanks to all who've posted -- some exciting stuff!

On a side note, I visited a Rockaway MOMS Club book group this week and the discussion was fascinating: not all stay-at-home moms empathized more with Thea, the stay-at-home mom in The Other Mother, and not all working moms with Amanda, but the group was split about evenly between empathy for the two. I heard some amazing mom stories, and I hope some of the attendees will find their way to join us here.

Meanwhile, if you have (or know of) a book group that might be interested in The Other Mother, let them know I'm willing to visit in person (if you're geographically close) or via speakerphone--or that I'd be happy to answer questions online. The book really lends itself to discussion. Of course, the first question in Rockaway was about The Kiss.

Happy week, all!