the other mother - free writing workshop for moms

pro-cras-tin-a-tion

The thing is, I'm not usually a procrastinator. Sure, I look at that stack of laundry-to-be-folded and walk the other way; sure, my inbox looks like the beginnings of a very big, luscious bonfire, and sure, my kids aren't the only ones who have a hard time getting going in the morning, but when it comes to writing, I'm usually right ready when I have the writing time.

I always recommend scheduling the time--I write it in my Franklin Day Planner, to which I've become addicted since my working-in-an-office days. I am willing to sit in the quiet, thinking, giving myself permission to write notes before getting to the scene at hand, but today is different. All week I've used my sudden embarrassment of time to write. The kids are back at school; I have notes and plans and small scraps of paper with phrases that will start the important truths of this newest novel, and I've been using them. Until today.

Today, I want to go for a walk. Today, I miss our dog, who died last year. Today, my knitting looks ridiculously compelling, as if I could pick it up and finish my mother's birthday present, the huge sweater I'm making in bulky gold wool, the holiday gifts I feel compelled to begin ahead of time. I envy my friends who procrastinate by cleaning out closets, and THINK about cleaning out closets, but I'm just not getting to the writing.

I believe I know where I'm stuck: I suddenly have time, and intention, and prompt. I have clues about what I want to write, and there's a part of me that just doesn't want to write it. There's some bits of plot at the core I've been trying to write for years. They're painful, even if the story is ultimately a hopeful one. I have to get through the painful bits. I have to write them. So instead, I'm writing a blog post. But hopefully, it'll help anyone else who is procrastinating today.

Here's one self-imposed assignment I dig out whenever I hit this rare mood. Maybe it'll help you if you're stuck at the beginning, like I am. Maybe it'll help you if you're stuck in the middle, stuck near the end. Maybe it'll help if you haven't even started.

So here's your topic ...
Make a list: Things I Never Want to Write About

Give it a good 15 minutes, but probably the first few are the most important. They probably have to do with loss, and with love, and with fear, the biggies.

Then make another list: Things I Need to Write About

Take only 10 on this one. Then take a look at your lists. Is there any overlap? I will use mine to give myself writing prompts for this new novel for next week and beyond.

Even if the things I never want to write about are wretched, there's probably something good in there, and maybe I'll be able to exhaust them and move on to those I need. Or those I want. For now, another cup of coffee, and the lists themselves. Any writing counts.

workshops!

I'm all for mothers writing together, as you know, and started a course called Writing Motherhood right here in town some years ago! I don't know these folks personally, but they wrote and asked whether I'd share the following:

MotherVerse Magazine, a journal of contemporary motherhood, is launching an exciting new addition; mother writer workshops. These virtual workshops are designed to help facilitate mother writing by encouraging others to come together to learn and guide one another. MotherVerse will be offering two workshops "Writing Motherhood" and "Publishing a Blog" with will begin at the end of April and early May. The workshops will feature experienced published mentors and are a great opportunity to grow your current writing, develop something new, or begin that blog you have always wanted to start. If you are interested in joining a workshop sign up as soon as possible as each workshop has a limited enrollment. Visit http://www.motherverse.com/workshops

If you go, let us know what you think!

This week's writing topic: Write about not being a mother for 9 minutes. That could be nine minutes of not being a mother, or before you were a mother, or what you are other than a mother...

I'm just back from visiting my mother, which was wonderful. And spring is sprung, the flowers riz, I wonder where the birdies is...

New topic (via Moms Blogs book group)

If you read the most recent post (before this one, that is), you know that there's a moms blog book group discussion of The Other Mother at the Silicon Valley Moms Blog.

They're discussing The Other Mother and the issues it raises for moms. If you want to joint the discussion, click through where it asks you to join in.

There are plenty of gems in the mine, so this week I'm asking you to dig for your own topic.

You could write about a dad who's staying at home. You could write about mommy guilt. You could write about a mom quitting her job to stay home. You could write about cultural differences in parenting, but don't get too academic.

Just pick something you read about, even a phrase from someone's post, or, hey, the title The Other Mother's something to work with. I'm suggesting this because I feel like digging for your own topics gives you new freedom as a writer.

Have at it! 14 minutes or 22 minutes, you choose. And I'd love to hear what you think of the book group, as well.

Sometimes I write mine out a month in advance in my dayplanner, brainstorming all at once about a novel I'm living, or just trying to find what's important, what's next.

Can't wait to read! And hope you all enjoy your little Halloweenies, the ones in your house, or the ones that come to your door...

Lost

Hello all! I will get to comments later, but I don't want to delay the new writing practice topic, which came out of this week's in-person Just Write workshop:

Here's your writing practice topic for this week!

Read the writing practice guidelines. Stretch your fingers. Start with this sentence (fill in the blank):

Yesterday, she lost her __________ (mind, toothbrush, virginity, camera, best friend...)

Write for 8 minutes.

Thanks to all who've posted -- some exciting stuff!

On a side note, I visited a Rockaway MOMS Club book group this week and the discussion was fascinating: not all stay-at-home moms empathized more with Thea, the stay-at-home mom in The Other Mother, and not all working moms with Amanda, but the group was split about evenly between empathy for the two. I heard some amazing mom stories, and I hope some of the attendees will find their way to join us here.

Meanwhile, if you have (or know of) a book group that might be interested in The Other Mother, let them know I'm willing to visit in person (if you're geographically close) or via speakerphone--or that I'd be happy to answer questions online. The book really lends itself to discussion. Of course, the first question in Rockaway was about The Kiss.

Happy week, all!

In Defense

Hello everyone, and happy fall leaves, Santa Anas (if you're in San Diego), fog (San Francisco), and I dunno, you'll have to tell me what else you have. Leaf rot? Bulbs to plant (this weekend's plan). Small animals nesting in the gutters?

Welcome to members of the Just Write class who are new here (or returning). Take another look at the writing practice guidelines and get to it! Can't wait to read you!

So here's this week's writing topic.

In the spirit of this blog's genesis, write either an interior monologue (running thoughts) or an actual dialogue with a Working Mom or a Stay at Home Mom defending her choice (of working or staying at home -- to another mom, to her children, to her own mother).

If you're feeling brave, choose the mom who is not you as your narrator.

Write for 14 minutes.

For example,

"Just because you did it your way doesn't mean my way's crap," I said to my mother. She nodded her head, a slow, gray nod on a tall, red-lipsticked woman. My mother has moved like an old person since she was twenty.

"But, honey," she started.

"No, no honey," I said. "You call me honey to infantilize me..."

That's just a start... As always, we're going to assume everything's fiction, so feel safe to get as vitriolic as you'd like!

You go, mamas (and nonmamas alike).

Did you get yours yet?

This is my shameless request before we get to the topic: pick up a copy of The Other Mother at Amazon.com. It's on sale (only about $15) and there's free shipping for orders over $25 (you could get two...) I'd love to hear what you think of it, and it needs your support.

Plus, shoot me an email at ggross@gwendolengross.com and I'll send you a bookplate signed to you, or your mom, or your friend who just had a baby.

*spoiler alert*: If you're one of my students and you're coming to Just Write tomorrow, this is a topic we're going to use. I won't usually duplicate, but I thought it might add to the sense of community -- which is growing and flourishing thanks to you all, Queen, MJ, Amanda, Laura, everyone!

Here's the writing topic for this week:

Make a quick list of things you hate to do (scrubbing toilets, patching jeans, cooking pear pancakes, killing spiders, talking to a sales rep....)

Then choose one, and (don't read this until you have your list) write about quitting, in the third person. For example, "she stopped flushing the toilet when her husband forgot. Never mind that there was a yellow ring in the bowl, never mind that last time they went on vacation the lid was closed and a yellow ghost of uric acid tinted the bottom of the lid..."

Write for your choice of minute: 5, 11, or 18. Writing in 3rd person is to help stretch the narrative voice...not that you folks need much stretching...

I can't wait to hear all about it.

Falling

for all of you and your lovely posts. I promise I'll comment on them later this week, but I have to go to the doctor, and to pick up the dog's ashes (very sad; she was old, but we really, really miss her), so I wanted to post a new topic for all you Write Women.

Fall, adding sweaters, sorting closets, picking apples and peaches, the hay maze.

Here's the writing topic for this week:

First, re-read the rules. Think about one of them for a moment (don't think, use your senses, whichever hits you today).

Then, write about giving something away. (old clothes, a car, a kiss, love, money, a baby...) Write for 9 minutes.

I can't wait to read you!

another week, another topic, and something else for free...

Hello wonderful writing women!

First, I want to mention two wonderful sites:

Great for a daily dose of something good.

Second: it's tell-a-friend week!

I know some of you are off on summer expotitions (Winnie the Pooh's word), but for those who are around: you know who I mean, that friend who writes long and eloquent emails, a writer at heart. If you will, share this blog with her, okay?

In fact, I'll sweeten the pot: the first person to have two friends post (writing posts, that is, in the comments) and mention her name gets a free advance galley of The Other Mother. My marketing manager sent me one extra, and I'd love to share it (and if you love it, maybe you'll even post elsewhere and spread the word).

Now, at last, the writing topic at hand (I've been waiting to tell you):

Write about waiting.

For a table, waiting tables, waiting for Godot, waiting up late, for birth, for test results, for the end of school, for the beginning..........you choose.

And here's a little challenge: after you read through the rules (try reading 'em out loud). Write for three minutes and make everything one sentence--that doesn't mean you have to be brief, but instead, that you link it all up with commas, semicolons, dashes, or nothing.

Don't worry about the grammar police; they're off duty for first drafts. Then, try to write for five minutes more using that same wild momentum you (hopefully) got from writing without the break of a period.

Happy summer all! Happy writing!

Broken

It's a bit early, but I'm trying very hard not to think about The Business of Things (as opposed to the Art of Things), and since I've finished my own writing, I want to offer up something new for you.

7 minutes, folks, just 7 minutes!

Think of how else you might spend 7 minutes -- in traffic, trying to catch a fly that snuck in the house, painting two toenails (I'm obviously not a pro), standing in line at the grocery store, checking your email, paying two bills, going to the bathroom...enough of that.

Now here's your topic:

Write about something breaking (your car, your water, a wine glass, a plastic wading pool, your heart ... anything you choose).

Let's try to focus on using interesting, specific verbs, like: snap, shatter, crush, splinter, powder, dismantle, wreck, crash, masticate, shred, split, chop, crack....

And sensory writing--if there's a glass splinter stabbing your foot, I want to feel it. (okay, I don't really want to feel it, but if your writing makes me feel it, you're doing something right).

Give yourself 7 minutes to write. You deserve it. Look over those guidelines for writing practice, and go!

p.s. feel free to tell your friends about this blog, I'm all for sharing!

Finding out

Thank you, all, who visited and posted! Feel free to keep posting (and commenting) on last week's topic--hopefully you've done the inventory, and now you have many, many weeks worth of topics, should you choose to go there.

But it's a new week, and I've promised a new writing topic, so here it comes.

Get your pens (or keyboards) ready. Read over the writing guidelines, and then write for 9 minutes on the following.

Finding out ... you were pregnant; you weren't pregnant; you got the job; she was sick, etc .. .you choose.

Write on, folks (sorry, I'm not usually so punny)! And feel free to send the link to anyone you think might be looking for writing topics & ideas.

One friend wrote to say she's applying the ideas to her work with ceramics. I'm hoping we can get her to post a picture!