the other mother - free writing workshop for moms

Lovely, lovely leaves

We just went for a walk in the lovely, lovely leaves. My daughter, who for some reason is sweetest of all, got stung not once, but twice by wasps. Are some of us really sweeter than others?

All this drama reminded me that I hadn’t posted for a while...

So here’s a writing topic that worked wonderfully in class:

Write about needles. Pine, pins and, dentists (ugh), sewing, knitting, being needled—whatever comes first to mind.

Write for 11 minutes.

Don’t be afraid to go there, even if it hurts (clearly this writing exercise can vaccinate you against fall gloom).

Post your writing in the comments section below (for any newbies who don’t already know). In class, the writings had a remarkable connection to each other—it charged the class with ideas and interest, and no one got hurt.

In other news, if you’re in northern NJ and would like to come meet me in person, come to the Ramsey Public Library in Ramsey, New Jersey on Sunday, November 16th at 2pm. Here are driving directions to the library.

The event is free, and I’m hoping for some of the amazing questions I’ve had at book groups lately.

Come! Tell me you read the blog!

And, as always, I’d be happy to sign bookplates if any of you would like to get your holiday shopping wrapped up early with signed copies of The Other Mother. Just send me an email with your name, address, and what you’d like me to write. I’ve been sending them out by the dozen, and it feels great to know more people will be reading about Thea and Amanda and hopefully feeling just a little more compassionate toward other mothers everywhere.

Oh, Italia!

ravioli gnudi burro salviac parmigiano
image credit: trozbo : cc-2.0-nc-sa

I've never been to Italy, but I was recently invited to a fantastic event hosted by Kim Orlando of Traveling Mom.com, Beth Feldman of RoleMommy.com, and Andrea Sertoli at Select Italy, his Soho loft/cooking school. First, let me say it was like entering a geode; from Bowery and a nondescript entryway and elevator to an open-armed loft filled with lovely company, extraordinary good will and hospitality, a vast square table that seated about 30 of us, and exquisite food.

I learned to make a little edible cheese basket for salads (we all did; some of the women writers dancing more fervently than others to cool the cheese/polenta mixture in the pan), red snapper baked in foil, and the adorably-named gnudi, pasta sans pasta--just the filling (oh, the filling!) piped out of pastry sleeves, then boiled, then baked.

Yum! Yum! Not just the food, but the conversation. I knew one woman there when I arrived (though it turns out I knew some from cyberspace...or they knew me, and then meeting them in all three dimensions was a joy), and a whole roomful when I left.

I wish I was having a catered affair so I could hire the charming Andrea Tiberi (it was a night of several Andreas), but if you live in the Tri-state area, I highly recommend that you do. I was also very tempted by all the Select Italy tours--making frescos with your family! Driving a Ferrari on the Italian roads! (okay, maybe not that one, though it looked scenic) Hiking in the Italian Alps! Definitely on my someday to do list.

Meanwhile...

This week's writing topic: Write about a place you've never been. Write for twenty minutes. As a bonus topic, make a list of trips you've taken--disastrous, fabulous, enchanting, nauseating...choose one to write about for another twenty.

And if you feel like sharing, that is, about a nonfictional trip, go visit Traveling Mom. You might just publish an essay with her, and inspire (or warn!) the rest of us. Happy Spring, writers on and all!

I owe some comments,

but fresh from a mom writers panel event at the White Plains Library with Jane Green, Pamela Dorman, and Role Mommy Beth Feldman (if you were there, thank you for coming, and for the fabulous questions!) I wanted to offer up a fresh topic.

I've been thinking about wishes, about how they change over time, about how close they can be to prayer, how selfish, how light.

So here's your writing topic. Take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. Using your dominant hand (say, right if you're a righty) make a list of wishes on the corresponding (in this case right) side.

Then put the pen in your nondominant hand and write on the other side. Make a list of secret wishes. This could be in code if it's easier to admit to them that way (of course, they can all belong to a character anyway!).

Now choose one wish from each column and start to write. Don't forget the sounds, textures, taste of it all. Write for nine minutes.

I hope your wishes smell like just peeled oranges.

3 Tips for ankle surgery recovery

Hello, hello! I feel like I've been away forever. On the plus side, I have a new talar dome (well, slightly used, but still) and I can now lurch around in a delightful and only sometimes painful manner. Actually, that's pretty much the whole minus of it, too.

Thank you all for the well-wishes -- and hope your holidays were full of festivity, joy, and kindness. Oh, and writing. But if you haven't written yet, I'll give you a topic at the end of this post.

Some great news about The Other Mother: A Novel. New Jersey Star-Ledger columnist Maureen Berzok has listed The Other Mother as one of the Best Jersey Books of 2007, sharing the honors with:

• The Last Three Miles: Politics, Murder, and the Construction of America's First Superhighway by Steven Hart,
• The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz,
• and Exit Ghost by Philip Roth.

Wahoo!!! Thank you Ms. Berzok, for placing me in such esteemed company.

The Other Mother is also one of Role Mommy's favorite books of 2007. If you're near White Plains, NY on January 23rd, you can come to the White Plains Public Library to meet me, as well as Pamela Dorman and Jane Green, at the Role Mommy Books and Authors We Love event. I can't wait! I might even been lurching a bit more smoothly by then!

So, here are the three tips for ankle surgery recovery as promised:

1. Become completely obsessed with knitting.

I'll try to post some pictures. I've made 3 hats, 6 scarves, two cable couture bags. Let's just say knitting keeps me thinking about things other than pain, and it feels productive, even if, as my husband pointed out, my kids look like people whose mother has a little too much yarn on her hands.

Check out Loopsknitting. Shelley has a gorgeous store, gorgeous site, and Loops Scoop, with free patterns and ideas; I won a kit for the cable couture bag, which is what got me back on the knitwagon...), a sweater, several purses to felt (once I can get down to the laundry again), a wrap, two stuffed animals...I'm done bragging.

2. Ask your surgeon to lend (or rent?) you a Roll-A-Bout.

You put your knee on this sort of modified skateboard with brakes and wheel around when you need one free arm (not so easy with crutches).

3. Get dressed every day.

Even if wonderful friends and relations have taken over the driving/cooking/and other items on the endless parenting list. It just feels better, even if it takes a few hours to get pants over your cast.

So, here's the writing topic.

Make a list of three tips:

• three tips for surviving divorce
• three tips for shovelling your driveway (don't use a leafblower on snow, for example)
• three tips for avoiding writing
• three tips for feeding a picky eater.

After you have your list, take it from there. You know how it goes: don't think, just keep the pen moving. You can do this: write for 7 minutes. That's all. It takes longer for me to get a sock on my left foot.

Come write, one and all! It can be a New Year's Revolution: write every day. Welcome back!

New topic (via Moms Blogs book group)

If you read the most recent post (before this one, that is), you know that there's a moms blog book group discussion of The Other Mother at the Silicon Valley Moms Blog.

They're discussing The Other Mother and the issues it raises for moms. If you want to joint the discussion, click through where it asks you to join in.

There are plenty of gems in the mine, so this week I'm asking you to dig for your own topic.

You could write about a dad who's staying at home. You could write about mommy guilt. You could write about a mom quitting her job to stay home. You could write about cultural differences in parenting, but don't get too academic.

Just pick something you read about, even a phrase from someone's post, or, hey, the title The Other Mother's something to work with. I'm suggesting this because I feel like digging for your own topics gives you new freedom as a writer.

Have at it! 14 minutes or 22 minutes, you choose. And I'd love to hear what you think of the book group, as well.

Sometimes I write mine out a month in advance in my dayplanner, brainstorming all at once about a novel I'm living, or just trying to find what's important, what's next.

Can't wait to read! And hope you all enjoy your little Halloweenies, the ones in your house, or the ones that come to your door...

Blogorama! Moms Blogs discuss The Other Mother: A Novel

I'll post a related topic tomorrow or Tuesday, but wanted to let you all know about this exciting blog-fest discussing The Other Mother. Stop by, join in!

On Monday, October 29, Moms Blogs from Silicon Valley, New York City, Chicago, and Washington DC begin their first-ever collective book club meeting to discuss The Other Mother, the new suspenseful motherhood novel by Gwendolen Gross.

(PRWEB) October 29, 2007 -- In an event described as "following in the footsteps of our beloved Oprah," contributors from the Silicon Valley Moms Blog, New York City Moms Blog, Chicago Moms Blog, and the Washington DC Metro Moms Blog are reading the new suspenseful motherhood novel The Other Mother by Gwendolen Gross. Starting on Monday, October 29, they begin their first-ever online collective book club meeting to discuss this novel, which has been described by Booklist as "an electrifyingly complex and explosively gripping portrait of contemporary, have-it-all motherhood."

Gross' novel encourages an active dialogue between moms, because it inspires mothers to explore their own choices about balancing work and family, the struggles and joys of parenting, and the constant push and pull of contemporary motherhood. Publisher's Weekly says that The Other Mother "documents the front lines of the Mommy Wars, but its real strength lies is exposing the complex inner battlefields motherhood can open up." National Public Radio calls The Other Mother "a thoughtful, multi-faceted look at what divides and unites mothers."

These four Moms Blogs are inviting all blog readers to "read along if you like and join us for a lively book club discussion." The Moms Blogs are the brainchild of Jill Asher and Pamela Miller Hornik, and they have received national media attention for their coverage of parenting issues in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, San Jose Mercury News, Los Angeles Times, Chicago Sun Times and on ABC News.

The Other Mother has been featured in the New York Daily News, the Toronto Star, Redbook, OK! Magazine, and on National Public Radio, and it is the selection of four national book clubs. The Mom Gadget Blog says that The Other Mother "captures the truest most vulnerable times any mother has experienced, as one mother struggles with the fact that all her kids will soon be attending school -- while the other struggles with returning to work with a newborn at home ... The characters are so believable and are sure to leave a lasting impression, long after the final page has been turned." The Other Mother by Gwendolen Gross is available at Amazon and in bookstores.

Gwendolen Gross is the author of the novels Field Guide, Getting Out, and most recently, The Other Mother. She graduated from Oberlin College, received an MFA in fiction and poetry from Sarah Lawrence College, and was selected for the PEN West Emerging Writers Fellowship. In addition to her novels, Ms. Gross has published poems and stories in dozens of literary magazines, as well as essays in collections including It's A Boy: Women Writers on Raising Sons and It's A Girl: Women Writers on Raising Daughters.

Ms. Gross is also an award-winning writing instructor and has led workshops at Sarah Lawrence College and the UCLA Extension online. Her guest lectures include appearances at the Fashion Institute of Technology, at Barnes and Noble's Educator's Night, and The World's Largest Writing Workshop. Ms. Gross has worked as a snake and kinkajou demonstrator, naturalist, opera singer, editor, and mom. She lives in northern New Jersey with her family.

Lost

Hello all! I will get to comments later, but I don't want to delay the new writing practice topic, which came out of this week's in-person Just Write workshop:

Here's your writing practice topic for this week!

Read the writing practice guidelines. Stretch your fingers. Start with this sentence (fill in the blank):

Yesterday, she lost her __________ (mind, toothbrush, virginity, camera, best friend...)

Write for 8 minutes.

Thanks to all who've posted -- some exciting stuff!

On a side note, I visited a Rockaway MOMS Club book group this week and the discussion was fascinating: not all stay-at-home moms empathized more with Thea, the stay-at-home mom in The Other Mother, and not all working moms with Amanda, but the group was split about evenly between empathy for the two. I heard some amazing mom stories, and I hope some of the attendees will find their way to join us here.

Meanwhile, if you have (or know of) a book group that might be interested in The Other Mother, let them know I'm willing to visit in person (if you're geographically close) or via speakerphone--or that I'd be happy to answer questions online. The book really lends itself to discussion. Of course, the first question in Rockaway was about The Kiss.

Happy week, all!

Look to the skies! (dog days o' summer)

Okay, I’ve been trying to post this for a while, but Typepad’s having woes. What? Power problems? But it’s the web, we all need web. I kid. They’ll work it out.

Anyway, what I wanted to say was this:
Dog Days of Summer Giveaway!

Everyone’s giving stuff away via their blogs. Check out Bloggy Giveaways for more contests and the chance to win more free stuff. I love the idea (and have, of course, entered several drawings).

So, I’m giving away one gorgeous, hardcover, signed copy of the yet to be released The Other Mother. Who doesn’t want free stuff? And of course, if you love the book and tell your friends, that’ll make me extra happy.

Here’s how it works: post in the comments, answering the question below. (hint: if you don’t know already, check out The Other Mother website) and make sure to include your email address. You don’t need to write a writing post, though those are welcome, of course! Just let me know you want to be in the drawing.

The comments will close on Friday, July 27, 2007 at 5pm eastern time, and I’ll put them all in a hat over the weekend and draw a lucky winner.

Okay, here’s the question:
In what state do Thea and Amanda live?

*Note:* I didn't realize, until I tried looking it up that way, that the book description on the site no longer gives the answer, though you could find it elsewhere.

So, it's okay if you answer this instead:
Where does Amanda work?

Hope you’re all enjoying the dog days, and writing up a storm! Feel free to reply to earlier topics, whenever you’re ready.

release week is coming...

I've asked a friend of mine, Judy Reeves (writing teacher and writer extraordinaire), whether she'd like to be a guest poster here--but I just wrote her today, so I'm going to hold off on adding a new topic until I hear from her.

Plus, the last topic is still very lonely and unwritten. Or maybe you've written, you just haven't posted--which doesn't bother me!

Anyway, my writer's-mind-mommy-mind-did-you-pack-sandwiches-for-the-beach-mind is a little redirected this week--because The Other Mother will be released August 7th, 2007.

Two book events are coming up in New Jersey, and then one at the end of the month on Cape Cod. I'm not usually one for stage fright, so this is more of a: will people remember to come? Will I bring enough brownies? If you're curious, stop by my website.

Meanwhile, I'll be back later with a topic, and feel free to post about last week's! Hope everyone's happy as the grass is green.